xoxo-gossip-gay:

xoxo-gossip-gay:

My offer just sent me an adorable revision guide and I think it included a condom

it was a tea bag

simplycrazyhunter:

My college degree in a nutshell.

timkarinn:

I thought this was going to be educational…. it was

hurdswood-blog:

_{Step aside, sir. Random security check.
Random my behind! You always stop me.
I’m just a surge protector doing my job, sir.}

titenoute:

theglitteringthong:

theglitteringthong:

When you finally find the name of the song thats been stuck in your head

Do you little fucks know how long it took me to find this image I had to look up seductive apples my family is questioning my mental health don’t fucking talk to me

I don’t know you but i think i love you

paint-fanduhms:

paint-fanduhms:

An apple a day keeps The Doctor away. 

Why doesn’t this have more notes this is comedy gold.

starllex:

He looks so genuinely upset

lightspeedsound:

avante-gardeian:

squigglydigg:

notasamalander:

noxtheox:

Let’s get down to business.

To outbid the huns!

Here I have some figures

and some facts and sums!

It’s the saddest lot you’ve ever bought

but if you bet on this one too

Mister I’ll

make you a buck

or two

Business man!
We must be swift as the stock exchanges
Business man!
With all the force of a great tycoon 

Business man!

With all the strength of a thriving market

Mysterious as the Romney’s revenues!

I’m never gonna get this back

Say good bye to my salary 

Boy was I fool in school for cutting STATS

This guy’s got them scared to death

Hope he doesn’t see my assets 

Now I really wish I knew how to add! 

chelle-the-zbornak-queen:

princessmarshmallow:

comedybear:

Eris is my kind of lady. 

it got better

acstlu:

ᶦ ˢᵃʷ ᵗʰᵉ ᵒᵖᵖᵒʳᵗᵘᶰᶦᵗʸ ᵃᶰᵈ ᶦ ᵗᵒᵒᵏ ᶦᵗ