i almost scrolled away
almostI THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE STUPID
I WAS WRONG
I laughed so hard, full minute laughter
My faith in pizza guys has gone up 123%
NO LET ME TELL YOU A STORY
So a few weeks ago I was in a hotel in Savannah with my grampa in the hospital next door, Mom was over staying with him, and the battery in the smoke detector went out so every 5 minutes it would let off this loud, high pitched ‘CHIRP’.
It was annoying as fuck, so I called the front desk to see if they had a battery for it, and they said the only thing they could do was change rooms. We’d already settled in for the night, and needed the next door rooms for my uncles the next day, so I said I’d deal. My uncles had my car in the next town over, so I couldn’t drive and get one myself.
An hour later, I’m ordering pizza and have gone insane because the damn thing CHIRPS. SO. MUCH.
So I begged the pizza guy on the phone to stop and get me a battery, told him I’d pay for the battery, and give him an extra tip for it, and he was chill with it. This adorable fucker gets to my room with the battery, opens it, asks to see the smoke detector, CLIMBS ON THE BED, CHANGES THE BATTERY FOR ME, and tests it.
My pizza was only 20 dollars, but I gave him 40 and told him to keep the change.
Our teacher didn’t come to class today so we spent the first twenty minutes doing a seance to call the ghost of Steve Jobs.
Our offering was a bagel and all of our Apple products and we made a pentagram out of people’s laptops.
that’s me on the top right.
She forgets to mention we had a legitimate psychic in the room.
bringing this back because it’s probably the greatest accomplishment of my college career.
UArts represent
“Ah, Perry the platypus!”
“What an unexpected -”
“WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!”
“You’re trapped!”
“By societal convention!”
“Look! We’re in a fine dining environment. Everyone knows not to throw a scene in a fancy restaurant!”
"That’s right. You’re trapped. Sit down.”
the writers for this show deserve more credit man
