back the fuck up
There’s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up.
So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the city’s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him.
The horde decided that this was a scenario that had “MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP” written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off.
Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes.
demondoctorconsultingdetective:
so i went to the zoo yesterday and saw the cutest family of otters ever
and then i checked their names
they’re all NAmED aftER fOOD
EXCEPT kEVIN
WHY
WHY WOULD THEY DO THIS
Their naming sponsor is Whole Foods, so I get the food names, but seriously why would Whole Foods name one KEVIN
Fucking Leviathans…
there are ships when you’re just like
and some where you’re like
and that ship you just
and then there is the ship
I can’t tell if the last gif is good or bad…
Top 3 phrases that’ll create sexual tension
- “Make me”,
- “oh really”,
- “is that so”
“prove it”
“What’s in it for me?”
“The Black Death was one of the most devastating pandemics in human history, resulting in the deaths of an estimated 75 to 200 million people and peaking in Europe in the years 1348–50 CE.”
