allisons-y:

goldr0ger:

lordflacko91:

truhovixxx:

memeguy-com:

This Kid Is Going Places

Me as a father.

^^ same

god damn baby assassin. He’s probably gonna be doing parkour at like 4 and become a marine by 9 

Is that Tommy Pickles?

jakelionstumblr:

kingsleyyy:

i swear it would be easier to explain if someone looked over my shoulder and saw me watching porn than to explain some of the posts on my damn dashboard…this being one of them

I’ve been taking PT and  I thought maybe this would be more help

grimdarkthroes:

realslimcaity:

IHust wiOke upmy whol hOUSSe

I’m telling this story again b/c fuck it but anyways I was playing D&D and one of my friends went “brown bear brown bear what do you see” and on cue three of us turn to him and like, death metal screech “ALLLL”.

The dude goes completely pale faced. I saw true horror in his eyes. 

He didn’t know the joke.

So apparently dude just had three of his best friends demonically screech at him for no goddamn reason.

I do not think I will ever cause that level of sheer terror and confusion ever again in my life.

shubbabang:

those times when you stretch and end up cracking a joint so loud its just

lt-fleur:

dulceelena2000:

some of the funniest jokes on gravity falls

You forgot 

skylordfox:

asktherenaissanceman-d:

coffeeandfish:

lampgod:

did-you-kno:

Source

Leo no, don’t release Valentino out into the wild. Leo no. You’re going to give people heart attacks. 

Che? I’m afraid I do not understand.

How have I lived without this?

fightwing23:

peetababy:

I SWEAR TO GOD THERE IS A GIRL IN MY CLASS WHO CAN READ MY THOUGHTS SHE’S ALWAYS LOOKING AT ME FUNNY WHEN IM THINKING INAPPROPRIATE THINGS SO I SAID IN MY HEAD “START LAUGHING IF YOU CAN HEAR ME” AND SHE STARTED LAUGHING IM SCARED?????

This is either a plot for a new X-Men movie or a Stephen King novel.

legit-mrs-clifford:

m-e-s-t-i-z-a:

housewifeswag:

gayspicy:

im so fucked up over the fact that some countries have free college

and free healthcare 

Kinda like their government acknowledges that those are rights not privileges

United Kingdom has it’s traits

overnight-shipping:

kittanzer0:

so on the bus this morning

we stop at a red light and this lady gets off

she goes about half a block down, and then we saw her freeze and run after the bus

SHE FORGOT HER ENTIRE BABY ON THE BUS

I love the use of the word entire as in she could have just left the leg of the baby but no she left the whole baby

pizzaotter:

iguanamouth:

I fucking lost it here