Customer *grabs my ass*

Me *turns around and holds my hand out for money* you touch it you buy it

Customer Haha nope, all I did was grab your ass babe

Me and you think it's okay to do that for free? Would you do that to a girl on the street?

Customer Well a girl on the street wouldn't be dressed like that, would she?

Me So if a girl on the street was wearing lingerie you'd grab her ass? Clothing equals consent for you?

Customer Um, ye- no *laughs nervously*

Customers friend ya know, you kinda have to pay her now or you're admitting to sexual assault, don't be a dick

Customer *reluctantly hands me $20*

I later found out that he is a cop. Great, that's the sort of person I want defending and protecting me