me: my arm hurts
mom: it's the computer
me: my eyes hurt
mom: it's the computer
me: i have a nosebleed
mom: it's the computer
me: i have a fever
mom: are you sure it's not the heat from the computer
me: im pregnant
mom: it's the computer
me: i fell down the stairs & hurt my tailbone
mom: the computer pushed you didnt it
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