leprousarmadillo:

serpentinetigerlily:

No, but really, though. Kids assess all the time when they get hurt how hurt they are, in that, if they’re really, truly hurting, they’ll let you know. Anything less than that, and they look for adult and peer reactions. Parents who crowd their children and give them these cues condition their kids to seek approval and attention to the point that they cannot differentiate when they do and don’t actually need help. This continues into their later years as well.

I’ve been working with children for probably about 90% of my life and I can’t impress upon people enough how real this is. The SECOND an adult freaks out, children will automatically assume that whatever has just happened is a big deal. The best thing I have ever done or seen parents do is when a child falls down, you respond with acknowledgment but in the same tone as when you’re playing. We would casually just say “Oops! Go boom.” and about 85-95% of the time the child will say “ow” or sniffle a little, maybe even repeat your “go boom” but get right back up. Sometimes they WILL still cry, because they hurt themselves or they scared themselves with the suddeness of what happens. That really is a thing I swear to god sometimes a kid will just be so startled by how suddenly something just happened they will freak out a little ‘cause they don’t have full control of their emotions and reactions yet. Children cry for SO MANY REASONS and SO MANY ADULTS freak out like it’s the END OF THE WORLD because the BABY IS CRYING. But you see, that’s where you get kids who scream about everything. It teaches them that their every single little thing is worth drama and it teaches them no matter what some adult will always RUSH to make whatever it is “all better” when…well, nothing was really wrong in the first place. When a kid falls and starts to cry the best thing to do is calmly go over and ask if they’re hurt and if they nod or say yes you ask them to show you. Obviously if it’s serious you should be serious about it but otherwise you check the child for injuries and if there are none you kiss the spot that hurts and smile calmly and say “all better!” This shows the child it’s not a big deal, we all fall down sometimes, not the end of the world and everyone goes on with their lives. This lesson is invaluable and SO. FEW. PARENTS. will ever, ever teach it.